Friendship VS Love

Friedship VS Love

Getting stuck in the middle between a dear friend and someone you love is a horrible thing. I know that it happens all the time but just because it does happen doesn't make it easier to deal with.

What do you do when both sides seem to have a valid point? How do you choose between the two? Can you stay neutral at all?

I find myself stuck in the middle today and it feels as if I'm literally being ripped apart. I can't concentrate on work and my head feels like its about to explode!

The last week has brought on more headaches than I can remember ever having and right this minute I just wanna crawl down and hide under my desk. I feel like I've suddenly become a parent to two kids and its up to me to inflict peace and wisdom upon them - even tho I can't think of anything peaceful OR wise to say to either of them. The more I try to make things better the worse I seem to affect the situation.

I'm confused and sad and scared and lonely!

I wish this was all a bad dream and that soon i will wake up. Sadly, I'm old enough to distinguish dreams from reality. All I can hope for is a miracle!

D.

Je vas te dire un Secret..

Je vais te dire un Secret..

Let me tell you a Secret.. THE Secret to be exact.

In accordance to my previous blog (that raised a lot of thoughts and views) I've decided to stay in the cosmic realm but make it slightly more comprehendable.

A movie was brought to my attention last week that had absolutely nothing to do with UFO's, aliens or extra terrestrials altho it's about space and universe and cosmos. Its been widely studied and researched and the conclusion alwasy seems to end up the same - Space is a 'solid' matter that can be bent and moved to fit its surroundings and is affected by other 'things' around it.

We've all heard of The Butterfly Effect - a butteflys flapping wings in, say, Japan can send tiny motionwaves across the globe that can eventually escelate to a fully pledged hurricane. Just like human thought waves affect our surroundings and even the future.
I know this is a little bit far fetched but considering the people behind it aren't after a materialistic profit but instead want to teach people how to use The Secret to improve their lives and eventually achieve everything they ever wanted, its worth a try. There's absolutely NOTHING to loose.

I've already praised all the things I'm proud of in my life and everything I'm greatful for has been noted. I've even written out a cheque to myself for the sum of $500.000 to be cashed on my 30th birthday. I know the sum's not THAT much considering I could have put any amount I wanted - but I wanted it to be realistic (for me) and that way I can easily visualise it. Once that money's in the pot there's no limit to how much more will be made. I've also changed my way of thinking. Altho its not the easiest thing ridding yourself of all negative thoughts in Central London it is a work in progress and I'm sure I can feel a bit better already.. : )

The idea is that by power of thought you will be able to attract the things you desire the most; love, happiness, wealth, security etc. By exchanging negative thoughts for positive ones the vibe you send out will be different, attracting rather than repelling what you want the most. This is very logic to me. As everyone knows when we're in a bad mood we project vibes wether we want it or not and just like other people can sense that so can the universe. If we use our thoughts to instead evoke and summon what we'd really like we can affect 'motion' of space and through a series of events and by help of signs we can eventually achieve our goal.

So I'm passing this information on to anyone who'd like to wish themselves a bit of happy or a bit of wealthy or why not a bit of loved too just for good measure.

You can visit The Secret's website here or you can buy the book here or you can search info on YouTube to find out more..

Good luck!

Dan

We are NOT alone!

WE'RE NOT ALONE...

Have you ever wondered what lurks out there, in the open space surrounding our planet? Have you ever questioned if we truly are the most evolved and the most superior species?

There have been a lot of speculations surrounding this topic. Some of them leading back all the way to the time of the ancient aztecs and egyptians. Unidentified objects depicted alongside human-like figures in drawings and carvings inside the pyramids. Some might describe them as UFO's, or visitors, but most will dismiss it as jibberish.

Lately a strange hunger to find out exactly what's going on has awoken and I am slowly working through the facts. By reading up on books, checking out stories and examining some of the photographic evidence I find it very easy to believe..

There have always been errors and glitches in Darwins evolution theory. A missing link if you will - between the neantherthal man and the homosapien. And the more I keep reading up on the subject the more evident it becomes that we've been helped in the evolutionary process. In some way, 'someone's bridged the gap between animal and man, resulting in - US!

So far, my research has revealed some incredible theories and some frighetning facts;

* The Roswell Files - UFO's crashing in the New Mexican desert. Aircraft and 'pilots' found and instantly brushed under the carpet as 'Weather baloon exploded in desert'. When in reality the story is somewhat different. US state officials and previous employees of NASA, CIA, FBI, SETI etc. finally stepped forward and revealed the truth about that cover up.More can be read at http://roswellproof.homestead.com/

* NASA's UFO's - Thanks to the research from the Roswell events NASA has been studying the aircarfts found and replicated their of battleships and are learning more about them to this day. They are made including anti gravity matter and different metals are combined to give it great flexibility. Only way to manouver when you are flying at that speed. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8524267568796529301

*American Governments Weapons of Mass Destruction - being built in space. Laser machinery to be used in attacs against war on terror, any other human threat and finally - alien invasion. Some of the weapons have been in production for more than 20 years and it is unknown to unauthorised personel just how many of them are in orbit.

*Red Rain over Kerala, India - In 2001 the skies opened up over Kerala, India and poured down for 2 whole months. A monsoon some might say. Well, yes.. Only the rain was couloured red. Extensive research was carried out and scientists believe that alien bacteria came down with it. More can be read on; http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6146292.stm

*NASA video footage of the moon - after the first trip to the moon video footage was first released, then retracted from public use, after it became evident that it showed alien lifeforms. It was shot in UV light and although the astrounouts themselves saw nothing but the horizon, the video showed 'objects' moving around, some playfully investigating the human aircraft before sporadically disappearing into thin air. Additional footage showed the moons surface and what seemed to look like old ruins. http://cleveland.indymedia.org/news/2006/03/19222.php

* Ruins on Mars - And what about the findings on Mars. We've all seen pictures of what appears to be a large stone 'face' and not too far away there are what seems to be ruins of a city and even a massive Pyramid in the red desert. Now, thinking about it; WE have pyramids in the desert. We even have huge faces too, just look at the Sphynx. Wouldn't extraterrestrial life explain how the ancient Egyptians managed to build their pyramids in such a short period of time. And what connection did the egyptians have with the Aztecs? They built pyramids too. Where did this idea come from? http://www.runboard.com/bghosthuntersparadise.f15.t29

*Nazca Lines - 2000 years ago tribes in the Peruvian desert started 'drawing' lines and pictures of symbols and animals. The drawings were on a massive scale and could only be seen from the sky. The baffling question everyone asked was; If they only had basic 'technology' back in those days, how on earth could they make such huge images so precisely? And more importantly; WHO was meant to see them? Read more about them on; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazca_lines

There are so many things I could mention here but it would inevetably take up so much of both my time and yours reading this. I will not in any way try to impose my thoughts or beliefs on anyone. Its a free world and everyone's entiteled to their own opinion. All I ask is for you to look at these peices of evidence and hand on your heart say that they are complete fabrication.. I don't think that you can. But trust me, once you step foot into the world of the unknown you'll be wanting to know more and more - so prepare yourself for a journey to outter space..

Dan

World Economics By Cow

WORLD ECONOMICS BY COW!

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Stupid Questions

Stupid questions deserve stupid answers!

1. Initials: DK(UK)

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Oh there are loads of people born on the 26th of June. Shall I do them in alphabetical order?? Hmm.. Ok; Alanis, Bianca, Charlotte, Donatella, Erin, Fern, Gwen, Hugo, Ian, Jade, Kostas, Lourdes, Marilyn, Nigella, Owen, Paris, Quentin, Ralph, Stella, Tim, Ute, Victoria, Walt, Xander, Yves, Ziggy

3. Last thing you ate: A Croque Monsieur back in 1997

4. For or against same sex marriage? Hmmm.. Well, I'd much rather have a husband than I wife. Personally I like to take on that role myself so yeah I guess I'm 4. It!

5. I say Shotgun! You say? Bang, Bang, BANG, BANG, BAAAANG!!!

6. Last person you hugged? Daniel - but it wasn't as much a hug as a ridiculous attempt to try and prevent him from leaving the bed. What can I say - it was cold this morning!

8. How many U.S states have you been to? 4 so far - that I know of. There was a blur between 1998 and 2001 that I can't remember so maybe I have been to more than that?

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in: See question 8. Not lived in one that I know of..

10. Ever lived outside of the US: Yes like all over the place. Well, Sweden, Yugoslavia and UK. Oh and while I was on a Cruiseship for 6 months I was kinda living all over the place wasn't I??! So that would include USA, Costa Rica, Alaska, Cuba, Canada and then all the international waters in between..

11. Name something you like physically about yourself: My eyes I guess. Oh and my willy. Apparently its likeable.. ;o)

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: My massive ability to entertain myself in whatever situation I may find myself in be it funerals, weddings, poetry recitals etc.

13. Who is/are your best friend(s)?: That would be Gwen and Big Butt - my imaginary midget mates that only come out when the moon is full and the witches teets are weeping.

14. Why are you still up? Cos I'm wearing Stay-Up's today.

15. Who made you angry today? Today?? Nobody, so far.. But there's still 6 hours left of the day so there's still a chance..

16. Favorite type of Food?: What is that?? F-f-f-food? Is that a color??

17. Favorite holiday: Summer break?? Fag brake? Oh, HOLY day? Hmmm.. Halloween?

18. Do you download music: Yes - digital music is the way forward. If you don't believe me visit http://www.protestrecordings.com/

19. What illegal things have you done? Gosh, how long have you got? The list is loooong..I've stolen 3 magic beans, I've cheated on my SAT's, I've killed a ladybug, I've smoked oregano, I've sang in public and I once dressed up as a Queen. Not THE Queen tho..

21. Would you date the person that posted this? No, the police would have me! She's a lay-deeee. And so am I.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes, they still do. I have Amadeus Mozart, Kurt Cobain, Aaliyah and Elvis locked up in my basement. Everyone thinks they're dead but Oh NO!

23. Do you love anyone? I love everyone! And everything. Cos Love is a bad ass bitch and should be spread all over the world.

24. Do you like Bush? No I prefer Cock!

25. Have you ever bungee jumped: Nope but I jumped with Gee into a bun last week.

26. Have you ever went white-water rafting: Oooooh, no but I went to Bluewater to attend their sale once.

27. Whats wrong? What? Nothing? Why? Who said something? What?? I'll shoot them in the fanny!

28. How much money ya got? Too much for my own liking. Its actually sticking out of my arse. That and an 8 ft satellite dish courtesy of SKY.

29. Have you met a real redneck? No but I had an encounter with a Silverback once. We went for tea at the Ritz.

30. How is the weather right now: Cold and rainy but the sun is shining so I guess a witch has been born at the other side of the rainbow under the leprechauns pot of gold..

31. What are you listening to? At the moment it would be the voices in my head. They're telling me to stick a flute up Candy's pussy cos she's refusing to go to band camp.

32. Favorite song: That one that goes; Da da darararara da da boom cha cha bang. Ooooh.. U know.. La la la diri di di di.. Para ra ra ra boom. Know wich one I mean? Yeah, that one.

33. What was the last movie you watched? A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen followed by From Dusk til Dawn on channel 4. I liked the Pussy bit by Cheech. You can see the clip! I posted it on Lil D's profile..

34. Last time you had fun? Friday night actually. Had my first night out as part of a comic duo; Dan & Dan. Was a hoot!

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Me and Dan went to Costcutters yesterday to pick up some milk. And then I went to London Bridge tube station to get to to work. Then I walked from Goodge Street to New Cavendish Street and I haven't moved since..

36. What are you afraid of? :Plastic earrings, the 80's, that big butted man on X-Tube and sometimes I'm afraid of dolphins cos they are like gay sharks.

37. How many piercings and tattoo's do you have?: Have had a lot but then someone came and stole them away from me. So now I only have one piercing and 6 tattoos left.

38. How many pets do you have: 34 - all dust mites. They have names too but I can't disclose that information without having to eliminate you afterwards. Would you like that?

39. Have you ever loved someone: Once I loved someone twice, but then I got over it and bought a doughnut instead.

40. What turns you on? Lil D knows.. ;o)

41. Why do you do it? Cos it turns me on!! DOH!!

42. Have you ever fired a gun: Yes all kinds of guns - shot gun, flare gun, stun gun, Shogun, begun..

43. Are you missing someone? I missed a co worker on my way here. She was waving and calling out my name but I missed her on the account of the fact that I blinked.. Shame really. She's nice.

44. Fave TV show?: The one with that guy and that girl that go; Doo Wop Doo Wop Wop and then they spin and fall into a barrel of laughs only to be picked up by that hippo.. Wass his name again...? Zippy? Lippy? Skippy?? Skippy the angry Hippo?? Nah.. the other one actually..

45. Do you have an ipod?: No, I can't be trusted with one apparently. They think that the more songs that fit into my music device at a time the loopier I get. But I think they're underestimating my wheedles.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?: Yes, I was once told I look like Zsa Zsa Garbo(!) and then once someone told me I reminded them of Puff the Magic Dragon! I wonder what could have given them that idea...?

47. Where are you? Am at work working on everything else but what I should be doing. Hoping that the effort I put in witll guarantee me a place in the Hall of Fame or at least the Happy Home for the Bewildered.

48. Who would you like to see right now?: Please could I see Dana International and RuPaul do a duet singing Michael Jacksons Thriller, please? No? Hmmm..

49. What is your favorite movie?: Lord of my Ring, Shaving Ryans Privates, TitanDick, Bareback Fountain, Natural Born Fuckers, Raw, Bareback Fountain 2 - the Second Cumming and a whole bunch of others but i'm in them so I can't mention them as that would make me sound really vain (and I'm NOT!) honest..

50. Do you find yourself loved? The more I love myself the more I will be loved and I love myself a whole lot (disregard what question 49 says) and that must mean that I'm very much loved everywhere else too, but should I now NOT be then that's ok too cos I love myself enough for everyone else, so there..

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? All the time. Once my nan caught me with my hand in the cock jar that she tried to keep for herself. Greedy bitch. But I outsmarted her and got my own in the ned. 7 inches it was. Mmmm.

52. Favorite flower? Meat Rose or in some countries people know it as Anus Anus.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?: They HAVE to be mixed. That way you never know what you're gonna be getting and each mouthful is filled with surprises. Very exciting!

54. What Magazines are you reading?: Fashion Faux Pas/Vogue for Bastards/Sugar Daddy/Metropolitan/ Boyz

55. Are you bored yet? Always bored but that's ok cos I have a switch I can press whenever that happens. There. Now I'm not bored anymore - for about 5 seconds.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? People pass me by all the time and when they do they're only about an inch or two away from me - so the are pretty close yeah..57. Is there life on other planets?Of course there is. Did you really think that Jocelyn Wilderstein, Michael Jackson, Donatella Versace and Pete Burns were human?? Puh-leeeeease! Get with the programme girlfriend. Wake up and smell the Stardust, Ziggy!!

58. What's something that really bugs you?: Oooh don't even get me started on that one. Something that really bugs me are public displays of affection. YUK! I mean puh-leeeaze people. If you are going to exchange bodily fluids at least have the decency to do it behind closed doors. Bodily fluids belong in pipettes in labs and sperm banks - not on the streets of beautiful London. Unless the streets are based somewhere near Hampstead Heath or Russel Square. Then its ok..

59. What's important? Marijuana, Extacy, Ketamine, Cocaine and sometimes a bit of Crystal Meth. Not nessecerily in that order tho..

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?: As a person no. He's very selfish and sleeping with him results in bruises and unwanted hickeys in weird places. But as a Martian he's perfectly all right.

61. Is there more to life? There are some more minor things like button mushrooms that have this really funky smell but send you flying to Kingdom Come whenever you sniff them. And then there are some little huts based in deepest Africa that have gateways to an alternative dimension. But more than that I don't think so..

62. Favorite basketball team?: Basket Ball?? Oooh, I remember that.. Is that when you sit on a ball and jump up and down on it till you get to 2nd base??

63. Favorite cereal?: Hmmm.. That would be Will & Grace and Friends. Oh you mean f-f-f-food stuff again.. Then nuffink. Thanks.. Maybe Credit Crunch!

64. Do you drive?: Only Rocket Ships and Pingu-bile.

65. What do you drive?: Oh how bizarre. I already answered that above. Isn't that hilarious?? I laughed so much a tiny little green pea came out.

66. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?: I always sleep with one eye open so I dunno how to calculate the exact amount of time as one half always stays awake?

67. Last time you went bowling?: I went with the New Kids On The Block when I was 14. But that doesn't count cos they only brought me so I could polish their balls..

68. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?: In a nutshell. It was very claustrophobic I have to say..

69. Who was your last phone call?: Some crazy lady asking if I sold cotton balls and when I told her I didn't she asked me if I'd like to. Mad I know. Then she screamed at me that her name was Gwen and she wanted to wash my vagina.

70. Last time you were at work?: I'm here now, but not for long as I finish in 2 mins, 32 seconds..

Woooo...

Dan