Thursday, 4 August 2005

Thursday 4th of August 2005 - back dated!

Dear Diary,

while I'm sitting here waiting to be late I might as well tell you my life story.. ;o)
Well, its now been a few.. erm.. years(?) since I sat down to write something worth reading. And even if its been that long I'm sure I wont have anything interesting to say anyway, but I don't mind giving it a go.

Hmmm.. Where do I begin? I suppose a good start is when I arrived back in London about 2 years ago? That might be too much as a first entry actually.. But to give you a quick briefing I have to say that I'm originally from Sweden, emigrated to London back in -97, moved back to Sweden due to familly-increase, travelled the world on a cruise ship before finally deciding to settle down in London again. At the moment it feels like this is my home, but suppose I've felt that way before and it's changed..

Anyway, so here I am in London. Enjoying life to the fullest and yet I am still not happy. I've been trying to get my head around it but I simply don't know whats standing in the way of my happiness. It's not the city as I love it to bits. It's not my friends cos they are just the best. Is it my house?? It's not exactly a show home, it gets too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter and you can never get the water just the right temperature in the shower.. Or is it my job that's doing my head in? I was managing a prestigeous hair salon in the heart of Chelsea until I got fed up of people's bullshit and stepped down from my position to be a mere head receptionist.. Its a nice salon and we do get a few famous faces in but then again is it enough to endure the pretentiousness and bullshit some people just cant help scattering around themselves? Hmmm..
So why don't I look for something else then? The plain and simple answer is; I'm too lazy...
I don't even know what I wanna do with my life. I need to reach out and get some inspiration. Got any ideas? For guidelines just ask me what I'm good at and try to be as truthful as I possibly can be.. There's quite a few things I'm good at actually. I can stand on one leg and recite Dostoyevskijs Crime and Punishment - until the end. I can poke myself in the eye with my toe, especially with a bottle of tequila inside me.. On second thought there's not much I COULDN'T do with a bottle of tequila inside me.. ;o) I am a very good cook (great at serving up a nice Thai Take Away on precious china and passing it for my own) I am an amazing artist ith oils, especially if your into Da Da-ism and silly stupid meaningles splatter on canvas, then I'm your man.

Enough of what I'm good at. What am I NOT so good at??
Realationships for starters. I'm exteremely complicated. try as I may I can never get together with a similar match. If I get interested in someone they usually run the other way and if someone gets interested in me (before I get a chance to feel anything) then I'm the one running the other way. It's not that I'm into mind games or anything like that but that's just the way it goes for me.. And then of course you have option 3 where I get together with someone who seems to be everything I thought I wanted when all of a sudden he turns into some weird Modern Age version of Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde. I dont wanna kill off all the fish in the polluted sea, I'm sure there are quite a few nice guys out there. If so all I have to say is; Come out, come out wherever you are..

Gosh, not really sure what more to say all of a sudden. I suppose that if you've managed to take in some of this bullshit this far you might aswell leave a comment too.. That could maybe hopefully brighten up my day just slightly.. I dunno. Maybe... ;o)


August 04, 2005 in Diary