The Common life..
Gosh, I know its been bloody ages since I posted a blog last and I know I’ve deleted a few as well. There have been some drastic changes going on in my life and I’ve not really had time to sit down and compose anything worth reading I guess.. I have started working on my EGYPT blog and altho I’m half way through I can’t bring myself to quite finish it.. I don’t know if its because I feel that if I get it all out it won’t feel as special anymore or if I’m simply affraid of loosing that amazing memory.. I don’t know really.. I have posted the first half but think I'll keep the ending a secret, just for me.. :)
After returning from Egypt in December it was obvious that my then boyfriend and I were going to go our seperate ways. It was a really tough process to go through especially as we lived together. He moved out shortly after New Years and left a huge void in my life and my environment. For a split second there I felt so lost I wasn’t sure I could ever find my way back to my old self again..
That feeling didn’t linger for too long. Egypt had brought me and Johnny closer together and helped us rekindle our friendship, sadly at the cost of depriving his boyfriend some pre Xmas quality time, but I’m sure that by now I’m forgiven. Johnny had planned my ’recovery’ down to a T and had a solution to every problem or issue that I tried to get off on. I really didn’t have much say in the matter - my life was (once again) in his hands.
Now, almost 4 months down the line, I feel like a brand new person! I guess that sometimes we need to embrace the changes that head our way instead of trying to fight them. I’ve always said it and I’ll say it another million times over - everything happens for a reason - and to resist is futile.People, things and experiences will enter our lives and make an impact in one way or another causing us to in turn make decisions that will subsequently alter our lives. I seemed to need a kick up the backside after spending the last two years in a smoke cloud and I’m glad for the way things turned out.
Mon decided to set off on her own adventure and opted for San Franciso, her birth town. I am so jealous at the opportunity she’s been presented with and I’m extremely excited for her. If only she could feel the same way. Needless to say its not really my problem. I have tried getting her excited about it but her head is still so far up that smoke cloud that she’s unable to see through it yet.. In time (I hope). So the decision was made not to renew our contract for the Tower Bridge apartment and go our seperate ways. The hunt was on and after two gruesome months of frenetically looking for a new home I found this lovely little Clapham Common pad. Don’t get me wrong, its a far cry from the glitz and glamour of Tower Bridge and it aint no Buchingham Palace, but its cosy, its homely and its cheap! Plus my flatmate seems cool enough and we get on well. My room is great and we even have a garden (in need of some TLC, but like life itself it’s a work in progress) and we’re 2 minutes from the actual Common. I can’t wait for the summer when I get to whoop my rollerblades out (and probaly kill myself or run someone over in the process) and just basque in the sunshine.
Work is going really well, in the sense that I’ve got another raise. In a way I’m a bit sad as its making it increasingly harder for me to move on from my position but its putting some extra dough in my pockets. And from the savings I’m making on the rent I’d be surprised if by summer 2009 I haven’t put down a deposit for my very own pad!
On top of this I’ve finally recieved my provisional driving license. Its been a few years in the making and I realised that it was on my Things To Do B4 I Turn 30- list, No 5 - Learn To Drive! So I’m studying the Theory DVD/CD-ROM and I’ve set up a couple of lessons with an old friend who just happens to be a driving instructor and who’s given me a discount on the going rate - just for being me :) Johnny even found a car that he thinks will be perfect for me, a silver Ford Puma. Its kinda cute but I’m not 100% sold on it just yet. Maybe once I’ve taken it for a test drive?
Johnny’s also put me on a strict almost army-like traing regime and I’ve been going to the gym almost religiously. Up to 5-6 times a week. I’m currently also on a detox and cleansing my body of all the toxins. My diet is being strictly monitored and I have todl Johnny that he’s slowly creating a monster. LOL I’m seeing some incredible progress and once this construction is finished all I can say is - Watch out!!!
But the biggest change 2008 has brought me (so far) is the courage to discover myself and my roots. I haven’t been to my place of birth, Novi Sad, Yugoslavia, since I was 14 and had come out to my mom. Our relationship deteriarated and there was noone to take me back there. Now, 15 years later, I suddenly have this urge to discover where I came from. I tracked down my aunty Radoslava and spent a couple of hours on the phone to her explaining where I’ve been all these years. She couldn’t believe it was actually me and was really happy to hear from me. She put me in touch with my cousins Dusan and Jelena and after chatting with them on Facebook for the last couple of months I’ve decided to go back to Novi Sad and get to know them. I’ve bought my tickets and I’m flying to Belgrade on the 7th of July and returning to London on the 19th. A good 12 days I reckoned was enough to scratch on the surface and leave me wanting more..
While I’m there I’ll be attending the notorious EXIT Festival in the Petrovaradin Fortress. It will be its 4th year and everyone who’s been says I can’t afford to miss it! If only some of my favourite acts were performing that would be the cherry on top. A they have a proper Dance Arena I would have loved to see Bonnie Bailey, Basement Jaxx or Robyn on that stage.. *sigh*
Ah, and Bonnie Bailey, the beautiful songstress that could change the world! I feel so happy and priviliged that I have actually established contact with this girl and that I’m getting to know her. After all she is the inspiration to mine and Johnny’s new tattoo. To celebrate our 15 years of friendship I have decided to put my mark on him!!! Moahahaha! I designed a tattoo that will go on the inside of our left forearm. We’re having them done next tuesday at Frith Street and I’m so excited I could just.. spit!! :)
So, the moral of this particular blog is that 2008 seems to be a year of changes. Not all good, I’m sure, but life altering nonetheless. And I stand here with open arms, stare diversity in the face and welcome anything that life throws at me.
After all, EVERYTHING happens for a reason..
Dan.
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